John 13:33-35 - The Love Apologetic

Today, we will look at John 13:33–35. Let’s remind ourselves of the context of this passage. Jesus is in the very last week of His life. It is the night before He will be crucified.

During the Passover meal, Jesus has demonstrated that He is the servant of all by washing the disciples’ feet. He has just revealed that one of them will betray Him. Though the disciples miss the identity of the betrayer, Judas knows, and now, Satan has entered him. Jesus tells him, “What you are going to do, do quickly,” and Judas leaves, stepping out into the darkness to arrange Jesus’ arrest in the Garden of Gethsemane.

After this, Jesus tells the remaining disciples that He is going away and where He is going, they cannot follow. The disciples are now filled with confusion, fear, and sorrow. They are likely wondering: “If He goes away and we can’t follow, what are we supposed to do? How are we going to carry out the mission He gave us to preach the kingdom of God if He isn’t here with us?”

Jesus, sensing this, shows them exactly how to bear witness to the kingdom of God in a world where He is no longer physically present.

We, just like the disciples, are commissioned and called to proclaim the gospel of the kingdom of God. And just like them, Jesus is not physically present with us. And so, as we think about our own call to make disciples, we can often feel the same concerns. We wonder: How do we engage a world that doesn’t see Jesus? How do we share the gospel faithfully when we feel weak or misunderstood?

Often, we struggle to share the good news of the kingdom with others. And when we hear Jesus’ command to love one another, we feel the weight of our failure. Like the disciples, and like Christians throughout the centuries, we recognize that we do not love one another well. And so, because of this, the world often does not recognize us as Jesus’s disciples. We don’t look like Him. And because we don’t look like Him, they don’t hear our message. Or they don’t want to.

But what if I told you that there is a way we can truly look like Jesus? That we can give an apologetic, a defense of our faith, that speaks louder than words and allows us to eventually be asked to speak the message of the Gospel. A way of living that causes others to take notice and say, “These people remind me of Jesus. I would like to hear what they have to say.”

If this excites you, then you’ll want to listen closely as we look at John 13:33–35.

John 13:33–35 ESV

Little children, yet a little while I am with you. You will seek me, and just as I said to the Jews, so now I also say to you, ‘Where I am going you cannot come.’ A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

What we see in this passage is that…

We are commanded to love one another like Christ

Imagine with me a familiar scene: a Christian standing on a street corner, yelling through a bullhorn, “Repent or face eternal judgment!” Now contrast that with a different picture, one of a community marked by love. A church where people walk through disagreements and challenges together, serve their neighbors and communities with humility, forgive one another freely, and express a self-sacrificial, self-denying love. Which picture better reflects the love of Christ?

In verse 34, Jesus says, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.” He doesn’t just tell them to love, He gives them a standard of how to love: as I have loved you.

Let’s pause and answer four questions: What’s new about this commandment? What is love? What does it have to do with us? And how did Jesus love us?

The call to love is not new. Leviticus 19:18 commanded Israel to love their neighbor as themselves. Jesus even called this the second greatest commandment. But what’s new here is the standard, no longer “as yourself,” but “as I have loved you.” It’s not a love defined by our capacity or example, but by Christ’s cross-shaped love, self-giving, sacrificial, and enduring.

And what is love? Not just warm affection or care. Biblical love, agapē, is a covenant-keeping, self-sacrificing commitment for the good of another.

It wasn’t just the disciples that were commanded to love, it is us too! How do we know this? Jesus’ apostles repeat it throughout the New Testament, especially in 1 John, where we’re told over and over to love one another as a mark of true discipleship.

So how did Jesus love us? Let’s look at it in three dimensions: intensity, extent, and scope.

First, Jesus Loved Us Intensely. Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). Jesus didn’t just say He loved us, He proved it by laying down His life on the cross. He bore the full wrath of God in our place. He died for sinners. That’s intense, costly love. And Jesus calls us to love one another with that same depth.

Second, Jesus Loved Us Extensively. His love reached across every boundary. He left heaven’s glory, took on flesh, and walked among us. He served, He suffered, and ultimately, He died. His entire life, from incarnation to crucifixion, was one great act of love. He loved us to the very end, holding nothing back. He gave everything. So also, we are called to love one another, not just when it’s convenient, not just with kind words or quick prayers, but with our time, our resources, our energy, and even our suffering.

Third, Jesus Loved with Great Scope. Jesus’ love not only rescued us, it transformed us. He didn’t just die for us; He rose for us. And now He lives in us by His Spirit. His love is ongoing, dwelling, and sanctifying. He takes up residence in us, shaping us into His image. We are to love like that. Incarnationally (in a way that puts love into flesh and action). Patiently. Transformationally (in a way that changes us from the inside out). Not just loving people from a distance, but entering into their lives with the presence of Christ in us.

So when Jesus gives this “new” command, He is calling us to love one another:

• With intensity...willing to lay down our lives for one another.
• With extent...going far beyond what’s easy for one another.
• With scope...entering deeply into one another’s lives for the sake of transformation.

We also see something else in verse 35. Jesus says: “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

This is what I call the love apologetic. It is the defense of the gospel that doesn’t begin with argument, but with love. Jesus says that our visible, sacrificial, Christlike love for one another is the mark of true discipleship. It is how the world will know that we belong to Him. Not by our clever words. Not by our doctrinal precision alone. Not by our programs or personalities. But by our love.

When we love as Christ loved us, we show the world what He is like. Our love becomes the evidence that we’ve been with Jesus.

If Jesus loved His people that much, and if we say that He lives in us, then shouldn’t our love reflect His? The world knows the answer. When they see us loving one another like Christ, they say, “These people have been with Jesus. They look like Him.”

This is why the world listens when we love. It is when we love with humility, servanthood, sacrifice, kindness, and joy that the gospel becomes believable.

And that’s the challenge before us, which brings us to a problem…

We don’t love one another like Christ loves us

Too often, we act like the person with the bullhorn, shouting at others, pointing fingers, growing angry when people don’t meet our standards. We bite and devour one another with our words and actions. Or, on the other side of the coin, we disengage. We grow indifferent. We just don’t care.

This is what so often happens in the church. We either stir up division and resentment, or we avoid one another entirely. And in all of it, we fail to love like Christ.

Verse 34 gives us a command: “Love one another as I have loved you.” When we hold that up next to our actual life together, our conflicts, our gossip, our coldness, it seems impossible. How do we give ourselves away like Christ did so that as verse 35 says, all people will know that we are His disciples when we are more concerned about ourselves most of the time?

Does the world see in us a loving people living like Acts 2, sacrificing for each other, sharing possessions, bearing burdens as Christ does for us? Or do they see a church fighting for control, clinging to power, trying to hold onto comfort? Do they see a church angry at each other for not loving well enough?

Sometimes, to the world, we look like we don’t even know Jesus. Just like in Jesus’ parable, we act like the younger brother, running from community, refusing to love, living for self and pleasure. Or like the older brother, grumbling that no one appreciates our effort, demanding that others love like we do, and growing cold when they don’t.

This is our problem. Our love doesn’t look like Jesus’s love. The world sees this. And they know it’s a problem. Because when we talk about Jesus, but don’t live like Jesus, we sound just like the person on the corner holding a sign that says, “You’re going to hell,” instead of a community living lives of mercy, compassion, and self-giving love.

If that were the end of the story, that we simply can’t measure up to loving like Christ, then we would be most miserable. But that’s not the end of the story…

Jesus loved us while we were God’s enemies so that we might become His beloved

Jesus didn’t stand on the sidelines of our sin with a bullhorn, barking at us to try harder, like a drill sergeant demanding perfection.
No. He stepped into our brokenness. He came to take our place. He bore the judgment we deserved, not to shame us into change, but to save us through His love.

He loved the loveless so that we might be made alive and made to love. This is incredible. We didn’t initiate love. We didn’t seek God. And God didn’t respond with a shouted demand for better behavior. He proclaimed His love not through condemnation, but through the cross.

The life, death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ, the eternal Word of God, is the loudest declaration of divine love the world has ever heard. We call it the Passion of Christ. And this very passage in John 13 is part of that Passion Week. The love of Jesus is on full display here because He is love.

Jesus loved us so much that He died in our place. The Father loved us so much that He sent His Son to die. The Spirit loved us so much that He applied the finished work of Christ to our hearts.

No greater love exists than this: that a man would lay down His life for His friends. But Jesus laid down His life not for friends, but for His enemies.

Think of the scope of His love:

• He bore our rebellion, rejected by the very ones He created.
• He emptied Himself, took on the form of a servant, lived without comfort or earthly reward.
• He poured Himself out in constant service, receiving nothing in return.
• He bore the full wrath of God, dying in our place so we could be brought near.
• He rose again and now keeps His glorified human body forever, so that He might be with us, bodily, for eternity.

What love is this? That Jesus would love us when we hated Him. That He would die for those who did not want Him, who did not seek Him. This is the love that changes everything.

He gave Himself up so that we could be given over, not to wrath, but to love.

Jesus, who is Love Himself, loved you and me this much. Yes, love. Deep, rich, eternal love. As the hymn says, “Amazing love, how can it be, that Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?”

And it gets better. Jesus didn’t just give us a command to love, He gave us Himself and then His Spirit as a sign of His love. His presence with us is a sign and a reality of His love for us. He sends His Spirit to live in us so that...

By the Spirit, we love one another as Christ loved us, sacrificially and visibly, so the world knows that we belong to Him

But what exactly does the Spirit do? The Spirit changes our perspective, how we see the world, ourselves, and others. He opens our eyes to the love of Jesus: a Savior who gave up His comfort, His glory, and even His life to make us God’s children. The Spirit shows us this love, not as a distant event, but as a present reality.

When the Spirit shows us Christ’s love, we begin to see others differently. We no longer see them as irritations or obstacles but as beloved brothers and sisters in Christ. Life together in the church becomes beautiful: worshiping, praying, eating meals, sharing joys and sorrows. These are no longer duties, but expressions of love.

We see every member of Christ’s body as a temple of the Holy Spirit. Being with them is being with Christ. And because of this, we delight in one another. This is how love becomes visible.

The Spirit also reorders our desires. We no longer try to obey in order to earn God’s love, we respond because we already have it. The Spirit reminds us daily: You are forgiven. You are adopted. You are loved. Now live from that.

Christ became poor so that we might become rich. And now, in response, we live in love for one another. We sacrifice our time, our money, our attention, to meet the needs of Christ’s body. And when the world sees this, they see something they cannot explain: a love that is not natural, but supernatural. A love that is not transactional, but transformational. This is the love apologetic I mentioned in the beginning. We give a defense of our faith as we live lives together on mission that look like Jesus.

Worship, prayer, and fellowship are no longer burdens. They are delights. We don’t build a résumé of love to impress God or others. Instead, we become a display of grace.

The law still guides us, but it no longer thunders from Sinai. It is written on our hearts (Jer. 31:33). The Spirit doesn’t shout from the outside. He whispers from within: You are Mine. You are loved. Now love as I have loved you.

And so our motivation to love is no longer fear or guilt, but Christ Himself living in us. His life becomes our life. His love becomes our love.

The Spirit rewires our desires. He opens our eyes to the tears of Jesus over Jerusalem, the blood in Gethsemane from the thorns, the nails, and the cross. We see the Son giving His life, the Father giving the Son, and the Spirit giving us His presence.

And in our hearts, the Spirit testifies: Abba, Father. You are adopted. You are loved. You belong.

From this love, we now love.

Love is no longer an obligation. It’s participation in the very life of God, an invitation to deeper communion with Christ and a reflection of His heart in us.

As we abide in Christ, prayer becomes central. We confess our lovelessness. We ask for the Spirit’s help. And love begins to flow, not as a duty, but as the fruit of union with Christ.

By the Spirit, we live lives of deep, sacrificial love. We share resources. We bear burdens. We serve each other in tangible ways. We do ministry not in isolation, but in community. We approach conflict with humility. We forgive. We rejoice. We endure together.

And the world notices. They see a church that lives as the family of God, people who offer help joyfully, receive help humbly, and love not from obligation, but from delight.

They witness a love that defies natural explanation, a love not transactional, but transformational. A love that points beyond us to the Savior who lives within us.

By the Spirit, we are empowered to love with the depth and breadth of God’s own love. And we do this because of whose we are. We belong to Christ. His life is our life. His love is our love.

If you don’t know His love for yourself, or can’t love others with the love of Christ, we implore you as ambassadors of God to be reconciled to Christ. Here the love of God being shouted out in the life and death of Jesus Christ, and hear the resurrection shouting the victory of God’s love over human sin. Turn to Him, confess Jesus as your Lord and Master, believe that He rose from the dead, and join us, His covenant family as we love one another by the empowering presence of the Spirit.

As we reflect on who we are in Christ, we remember that we depend on God alone. It is only by His Spirit, as we pray, as we study the Word, as we behold Christ that we understand and express this love.

• It is through our adoption into God’s covenant family that we are empowered to live like Christ and love like Christ.
• It is through worship of the Father, the Son, and the Spirit that we are renewed in His love and show that love to the world.
• It is through a new kingdom perspective that we become a redeemed people who love, who serve, and who seek the healing of the world.

We are a completely new people in a world desperate for redemption. And through this, the world sees the power of God.

As we live as kingdom disciples together, the world sees our love. And when they do, when they witness our shared life of grace and truth, they will say, “Those are Jesus’ people.” And God will be glorified.

And as His name is lifted high, His love may change many more lives, drawing them to glorify the Father, through the Son, by the power of the Spirit.